Tender Mercies

The past month has been kind of crazy for me.  Joseph had a staff member out of town for 2 weeks, and I am their permanent temp, so I got to go work at the office.  During those two weeks, the kids had their first day of school and I started rehearsals for not one, but THREE big recitals/concerts.  [Between you and I, I'm thinking that that is why I have the complexion of a high schooler.]  :)  The head of the piano department at our little university is on sabbatical, which means that the faculty had no one to accompany their big fundraiser concert, or their get-to-know-the-faculty recital for the students.  And the flute professor does a recital every September - I played for her last year, as well.  She's really fun to play with, but she picks CUHRAZY music.  This Jolivet piece was the beast of the recital -

Mr. Bouriakov takes it at insane break-neck tempos - he does it in 10 minutes; it took us 11.  But you get the idea. :)  CUHRAZY, right??  The big fundraiser concert was the night of K-lady's birthday (she's 10! more on that later), another recital was the night of her birthday party. (I have serious calendaring issues)  So last night was the last of those three big recitals, and I can't even tell you how good it feels to have made it through them all successfully - not perfectly of course, but I feel pretty good about calling them each a success.

Anyway, to the point:  I've been having off-and-on issues with my left wrist.  When I over-practice I end up with some strained muscles in  my fore arm that limit the flexibility in my wrist - I can't bend my wrist forward or back w/o pain.  My fingers can't move as fast; more practice just makes it worse.  Really not a good thing for a pianist.  It's just been within the last 2 years or so - whenever I have a heavy piano load it seems to flare up, and when I take a break usually it will fade away.  But it freaks me out to no end (enter more zits).  My mind fills with visions of the lady I knew back in college with bandages on her slit wrists from carpal tunnel surgery.  FULL BODY SHUDDER.  I had a pretty heavy load the last few weeks!  Full of big left hand arpeggios and fast passages.  I've just been praying and praying that nothing would go terribly wrong, that I could eek out the music without too much damage, or too many mistakes.  I was hoping to make it through the last big recital -- I've got about a month and a half before the next round of performances on my schedule (percussion concertos (nutso) and tuba/euphonium recitals (double nutso)).  But I figured I could try a chiropractor or a specialist in the meantime.  Ugh ugh ugh is how I felt about all of that.

Yesterday morning I had rehearsals, then came home for a few hours before the recital.  I decided to work on cleaning out the mess in our garage for a bit.  I didn't notice it at the time, but whatever was out of place in my wrist somehow snapped itself back into place as I was throwing camping equipment and bee boxes around.  After I'd cleaned myself up for the recital I sat down to warm up at the piano.  No pain, no tenderness.  I laughed out loud as I caught myself babying my wrist out of habit - no longer needed!!!   I can skip that chiropractor or specialist and go straight to percussion concerti and tuba repertoire! :)  (do I cheer or give just one more ugh before I bury myself in the nutso??)

I am so grateful to have my wrist back to normal!  I'm so grateful that I get to play the piano and push my limits and practice hard music and see improvement.  It seems to me that when I gain control over one small part of my life, that sense of order can spread and spill over into other parts.  That is what my piano does for me - it gives me that bit of success and joy that I need to motivate me in so many other bits of life as a wife and mother and cub scout master and whatever else might be on my plate at any moment.  It is empowering.  I thank God for gifts life that!  And I thank Him for making my body capable of both the pain and the healing, so thankful that it happened in such a timely manner yesterday.  And so thankful for the knowledge that the inevitable pain in this life will also be followed by healing if I rely on God.  I know it will not always be so timely, but the healing will always have the final word.  

a little time to play

I'm very deadline-driven - nothing like a deadline to get me to kick it in gear. So with the end of the school year fast approaching (not to mention a move), I figured it was time to tie up some loose ends!

K-lady and I made this for her teacher - the back ring says "love & grow." It was going to say "learn love grow," but the little set of metal stamps I bought was kind of lame - the A squashed flat on the first try! So we settled for a-less words. And I took the stamp set back to Harbor Freight and exchanged it for one that hasn't squashed yet. :) I followed the tutorial for this necklace from this website.

Then I slapped a few quotes together in photoshop and used up some of the misc. frames I've had kicking around (no need to move those again, right?) for some other favorite teachers.

And I needed more shelving for my stuff - this was harder than K-lady's desk - I bought cheap pine plywood that was super bowed. It would have been much easier and better to have bought something straighter and $10 more expensive. But it's done now and I learned something, and the books stay on the shelf, even if it isn't square. :) I can't get a good picture - it's wedged in the corner of the room far from natural light. But I LOVE having all my sheet music right by the piano where I can actually USE it (sigh...) These plans are also from Knock-off Wood blog.

And K-lady needed more shelving for her stuff (she really does take after me, doesn't she?). There is a set of plans for a hutch on the Knock off Wood blog that I used as my basis, but I adjusted everything to fit the desk and use scraps I already had - I only had to shell out $5 for one little 1x2 piece of trim! Yay! My dad and I are working on a little ottoman/stool to match the desk. But at the rate I'm going with this blog you won't see it till Halloween. :) (I'm sure the suspense is killing you).

A trip to the Farm

 

I went with K-lady to a small private farm for a school field trip a few weeks ago - it reminded me of home in so many good ways - trails through the forest, chickens, small orchard, gardens-gardens-gardens. It seemed so odd to me that this was such a new and strange experiences for these kids to see food that grows out of the ground!  And eggs that come from a chicken!  And tromping through the woods was definitely new. 

We had chickens like these when I was a kid - we named them Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson.  :)  They just seemed so trendy w/ their black and white back in the early nineties!  I guess some styles are timeless.

They let the chickens roam freely through the fenced orchard - natural bug repellent.  (I didn't think to ask how they keep the predators away from the chickens.)  The orchard was in full bloom - I felt like I stepped right into an L.M. Montgomery book.  :) A gorgeous green house overflowing with foliage, and sweet little babies - calves, kittens, kids - all over the place.  That rooster was a hoot - what a poser! (or does that make him a cock? Is that too PG for this blog?)

K-lady was great - she let me take as many pictures as I wanted. :)

Am I the only one who pines (along somewhat romantic lines) for a sweet little spot of earth far away from the pavement?

side tracked....

It all started with a little Spring cleaning.....  I had really good intentions of making my way through the whole house, collecting mounds of things to donate, leaving me with a sparkling home, full of things that I either 'know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.'  That way when I pack up in June (dah! next month! where are we going?!) it'll be easier, right? 

But when I got to K and A's room, this bookshelf was buggin' me.  This is the pretty picture of the bookshelf - but we were well beyond pretty.  It was just a clutter collection spot - K-lady had a make-shift desk coming off the second shelf, and it was stashed FULL of half-colored pages, partially finished projects, art supplies, tea sets, CD's and junk.  We keep 'cleaning' it out, but it just doesn't stay clean - it was driving me nuts.  

So I listed it on Craigslist and told K-lady we'd get her a desk to replace it (hopefully one w/ less storage space for stuff we don't need!). 

I looked around half-heartedly for a used desk, but finally decided I'd just make my own.  I've been eyeing this blog for months now, and could no longer resist it's siren call.....

a quick trip to Home Depot while J-boy and K-lady were in school - just me and Baby A and Chip at the saw, cutting all my pieces to size for me right then and there.  This is how to fit a whole sheet of plywood in a mini van. :)

 

My back patio was transformed into a shop!  I found that this is a great way to get to know your neighbors. :)

 

Here she is at the end of day one - rough around the edges, but that's what power sanders are for!!! 

and at the end of day three...

And finally finished, covered in the clutter that moved here from the shelf.  K-lady has also requested a hutch!  More shelves??!!!  I guess I can't win 'em all.  :) 

But I do love this desk!  And it feels GREAT!  I told my wonderful neighbor, Matt, (who let's me borrow his tools and use his garage - SO NICE!), "I feel so powerful!"  and he said, "Why do you think us guys' do it?"  It took about $90 and 1 week of working on it here and there, during naps, after bedtime.  I could have just gone to Pottery Barn and bought it here, but where's the fun in that??  :)

Now back to that spring cleaning (as soon as I'm done with the bookshelf waiting for stain in the basement, an ottoman for K's desk, and a hutch....)

I ♥ power tools. And Knock-Off Wood blog!

Good food and our 'adventure'

On my birthday we had dinner with Heather and Ryan and L - we decided appetizers would be fun and out-of-the-ordinary. So Joseph made the pina coladas (aren't they so cool?!), I made the shrimp, Costco provided the mini quiche, Ryan & Heather made the bruschetta, the fruit & veggie plates and the artichoke dip w/ pita chips. Oh yum. This is making me hungry.

 

Lucky for me, they only put 5 candles on the cake - and I still barely got them all out (something about blowing on food someone else is going to eat in the middle of H1N1 season just didn't feel right...)

Joseph made me a movie - Tara-through-the-years style (his first 'music videon' - Heidi, you'd be so proud!!), and then I opened my presents - I think K-lady was a little more than excited. :)  All told, it was a great birthday.

The next day was a little unsettling - we'd been planning on going to GA for another years' residency. Joseph flew to GA to interview and they unofficially offered him the chief resident position. For residency we go through a 3rd party to actually get the job - it's called the match. So this third party gets a list of all the schools you want, and they get a list from the school of all the residents they want, and they 'match' it up.
We didn't match at GA. Which was a bit of a shock, and really, truth be told, just made me mad - isn't it kind of wrong to lead us on like that?!  So now we've begun digging into the practice search - we want a retiring dentist who wants a quick transition (1 month or less). And there we go, off into adulthood and career path!

So if any of you know of any retiring dentists, let us know! (silly aside - the phrase retiring dentist makes me think of southern belles and sweet, coquettish manners - that's not what I meant.)  I go from being mildly terrified to terribly anxious. I told a friend I used to think the 'bend in the road' ala Anne of Green Gables was romantic and intriguing. Now it's just obnoxious. Who wants a bend?! Especially with 3 kids and students loans coming due!! AGH!

Meanwhile Joseph just tells me, "It's our adventure!" Isn't it nice that when one of us feels like we're falling apart, the other one has it together? Bless him and his adventure! I'm sure it will all work out. It always does, right?

Thirty

I'm feeling like a bit of navel-gazing is required today - today I am thirty (I hate that I cringe when I say that, but I just did). And in an effort to be positive about such introspection, I decided to make a list. Not things that I need to do (there are certainly more than 30 of those), and not things I'd like to change about myself (more than 30 of those, too), but 30 things for which to be grateful.

1. answered prayers (most recently the hymns in Sacrament Meeting this morning - the Sacrament hymn said, "Holy day, devoid of strife" - HA! I had to laugh - it was only 9:15am and I'd had strife enough! But then we ended with "Where Can I Turn for Peace." My own little tender mercy.)

2. a good husband who works hard for our family - and does a very good job of it.

3. safe, warm, comfortable, clean(ish) home

4. healthy children

5. beautiful things all around me

6. a camera to take pictures of said beautiful things (and being content with my camera) :)

7. The hustle and bustle of December, followed by the quiet instropection of January

8. A sweet baby who loves me (even if she'll only say Da Da and not Ma Ma)

9. twinkle lights (in January)

10. Snow Days

11. Two cars that are more (or less?) reliable!

12. rain on melancholy days - when heaven acknowledges your frustration

13. being a stay-at-home mom - hardest and best thing I've ever done

14. eating cold cereal for lunch

15. playing with my kids

16. rocking and singing to my baby before bed time

17. freshly bathed children, ready for bed

18. bedtime (for the kids, for me!)

19. a mantle and a fireplace - we probably won't ever burn a fire in there, but it sure is fun to decorate!

20. teaching myself this piece- cheaper and probably more effective than counseling :)

That just makes me smile.

21. wonderful parents who love and sacrifice and give endlessly

22. fabulous siblings (and their families) that make me laugh and love

23. great in-laws that teach and encourage

24. Knowledge - why I'm here and what I'm doing and how to do it.

25. a basement = room for my crafty stuff!

26. an uncertain future that keeps me humble and prayerful

27. the gospel and organization of the church - my built-in family, no matter how far I am from home.

28. the chance to choose (specifically: choose faith and family and friends)

29. others who love and teach and care for my children. 

30. technology in my life (from the computer to the sewing machine to the stone-age cell phone (5+ years old!))

30. a charmed life - trials, heartache, hard days, yes, but the good makes up for it

30. optimism

30. being a citizen of the United States.

30. YOU :)  I'm so thankful for friends and family that make my life so beautiful and rich and fun.  Thanks for your comments, too - I love them.  You are a blessing to me! 

(I love having my head full of blessings.  I certainly have more than 30 of them, too!)

The Difference Between You and Me

When I play with the camera, I

When Joseph plays with the camera, he performs a

It takes all kinds, right? :)

(I hope he doesn't mind me posting his 5:00 shadow and pearly whites....)

Go Buckeyes!!

Joseph and I went to the SHOE!

We attended our first (and, honestly, probably last) OSU football game in October. It was really fun -- the stadium is GINORMOUS, the fans are infectious and the marching band is AMAZING. And the football team was pretty good, too. :) There were a few LONG passes for touchdowns that were pretty exciting. And we won by a landslide. It was a little on the chilly side, but my smart husband had a blanket handy and enough cash to buy us some hot chocolate.

The kids stayed home with Aunt Heather, though they wanted to come and cheer on the buckeyes! This is Baby A's Halloween costume - she and I had nasty colds so we stayed home from the trunk-or-treat, but I dressed her up to take a picture anyway. Don't mind the spaghetti sauce on her cheeks. Just keepin' it real.

Projects Galore!

I decided to figure out how to bake bread. I have LOVED taking time off' from teaching piano lessons. And with K-girl in school all day I seem to get so much more done -- probably because my day starts at 7:00 instead of 9:00. I know, I'm still spoiled. Early morning seminary is going to kill me. ANYWAY - the bread. The bread is fabulous. Many thanks to Heidi & Tracey for the recipe!

We needed a place to sit in our bedroom, and I found one of those twin-sized bookshelf headboards on Craigslist for free. My handy brother was in town that weekend, and helped me saw off the bottom 3 feet -- after a little paint this is what I ended up with!

J-boy has his own room here -- I decided it was time for the girls to share. So I tried to figure out what J-boy's passionate about to help with the decorating. It's definitely dresss-up. Remember this?? So he needed a spot for his super-hero-ness. :)

And last but not least, I finally got tired of the kitchen table all scratched up and ugly. I think this one put me over the edge - I have an awful cold/fever/chills/ear drum explosion ick, and life is always a little miserable for everyone when mom is sick. I don't mean to be a big baby about it - I generally consider myself a tough it out kind of girl -- bring on the natural childbirth and all that. But I'm wallowing in misery. At least the table is black.

In a month or two I'm going to buy some new paint to re-paint the top -- it looks great in the picture, but it's not so great in person. But I'm tired, so it'll wait. And then eventually I'll take the sander to the edges and distress it a little. I figure if I wait my kids will do some natural distressing for me. :) Back to bed.

Tara Runs Into a Tree

Because I promised and Dave asked for it.  

I'm wearing the camera on my goggles, following my sister in law (in the blue coat).  

Silly Tara.  Stick to the courderoy.

Shameless Plug...

I'm way behind on blogging (as is my custom after a vacation or holiday...), but Joseph and I just did something that I had to share.  We made a website for a wonderful dentist in the area!!!  I did the photo and image editing and Joseph did the html code stuff, and we actually had something to do TOGETHER that didn't have to do with the children or the finances (or lack thereof).  Hurray!  We just might have a hobby in common!  Anyway, we just finished up the flash part last night, and I think it looks awesome.  So here's my shameless plug -- if you're in the area and need a good dentist, head on over to Summit Dental!  :)  

www.summitdentalonline.com

And I promise to do a proper post full of our exciting adventures soon -- I actually demoed a helmet camera while skiing in Vail -- I'll be sure to post the footage from when I ran into the tree...  :)

Happy Birthday to {ME!}

A couple weeks ago we celebrated my 29th birthday. And because I have a fantastic husband, it was a great day. Let me set the stage -- we'd gotten home from our wonderful trip, and it took a couple weeks to feel like I was back on top of laundry, groceries, routine, etc. So I was saving up all these fun projects for the weekend before my birthday, but I got sick instead. Just some kind of sore throat, fever, virus kind of thing, but it wiped me out for a couple days. I was so MAD! I'd worked really hard catching up on 'chores' so I could do FUN work. So when I thought about my birthday coming up, I told Joseph that I just wanted a day. A day all to myself, no meals to cook, no children to dress, no messes to clean, no errands to run.
It was MAGICAL! Of course, I still had Baby A (she's a little to young to play at the indoor pool all day), but she was pretty aimiable. I pulled out all the projects I'd been saving up for weeks (months?) and felt so good. 

I was actually kind of surprised at how good I felt!  As I worked my way through my projects, I began thinking in terms of my computer.  Now, let me tell you first of all, I am not a techie, so if I get my terms wrong and you know better, just bear with me or quit reading now.  :)  I was likening myself to the CPU (the central processing unit).  I think moms (and women in general) are like CPU's -- we run the processes, and we keep things going.  The more processes I've got running, the less efficient I am.  And sometimes when I've got too many processes going on, I just crash (and occasionally loose data!).  So on my birthday, I was running the 'fun project'  process.  But usually I've got at least a half dozen other processes running simultaneously -- first of all the 'K-girl' process, the 'J-boy' process, the 'breakfast/lunch/dinner' process, the 'goodness this house is a wreck' process.  Toss a few others on there (husband, church, school, friend, blog...), and then there's the 'guilt' process (for doing a non-essential thing when there are so many essentials that really should take precedence).  

Well, Happy Birthday to me!   'Cause the 'fun project' process and the 'Baby A' process were the only things running ALL DAY and even into the night.  My wonderful husband brought me lunch at 12:30 - YUMMY Chicken Bacon Dijon grilled sandwich from Panera Bread - and then he brought dinner at 6:00 - serious comfort food in the form of Baked Potato Soup with Sourdough Bread.  Did I mention that neither of these meals required any dishes to be washed?  He took the children to the gym with him, then took them swimming at the community center for hours.  Then he ran errands with them as I peacefully project-ed my way through the day.  It was so wonderful to do things I enjoy in my own home without multi-tasking myself  to death.

So for my birthday this year, I got: Take-out lunch and dinner, two vinyl lettering phrases for my walls, one sign for my front porch, one sign for my MIL, one memoir organizing binder and 3 little notebooks for taking along with me so I'll never again forget that cute thing my kids' said, Baby A's taggie and I cut the pieces out for the little Molly Monkey up there in the picture.  She was actually sewn together last week.  

Oh, and the ones I love did make a cameo -- Joseph, the kids and I enjoyed cake (my wonderful visiting teacher made for me) together around 7:30 just before Joseph put the kids to bed.  

BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

Thanks, Joseph, for pampering me with a day.  I love you!

Thank Heavens for Grace...

I've seen this a couple times over the last few months, and I just love it. I love the music - I've been thinking alot about how to learn about Christ, to focus more on Christ, and become more like Him. I know we're usually our own worst critics, but I've been feeling particularly inadequate and unsuccessful lately. I keep remembering wise words from one of the wonderful women in my congregation at church -- to paraphrase, "If you feel like you aren't enough, like you can't do enough or be enough, it's okay, because it's true. That is why we have the Savior. It is only with Him that we are enough, that we can do enough, that we can be enough." I love the words, "Oh, to Grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be. Let Thy Goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander - Lord, I feel it! Prone to leave the God I love.... Here's my heart -- oh take and seal it for thy courts above."

I love that the images in this slideshow are photographs -- so real. It reminds me that He really lived, and still lives today. It reminds me that His miracles are real, and were not just for the past, but are also for my present.

Now if I can just remember that the next time I break up a fight between my kids or the next time I have to tell them 5 (or 10 or 20) times before they obey or the next time I clean up the spilled juice/milk/vegetables/main dish off the floor after another unsuccessful attempt to get my three year old to EAT HIS DINNER. :)

Thank Heavens for GRACE!

Keeping the Baby Blues at Bay

A friend posted this on his blog a while back, and I came across it today while I was catching up (aka procrastinating potential productivity.... I'm sure there are a GAZILLION things I could/should be doing, but the baby's asleep at the moment, so I'm blog stalking....).
My days are currently composed of crying for joy because I adore my baby, crying for pain because she's nursing, crying for frustration because my 5 year old won't leave the baby alone and my 3 year old won't leave ME alone, and crying for myself because I can't help it -- suddenly my kids movies are moving, and my movies are heartbreaking, and I'm not even going to talk about church commercials and Hallmark cards! Nothing too serious - pretty much just your standard postpartum hormonal imbalance. But when I watched this video, I just couldn't stop smiling and laughing! It was really pleasant for a change! How great is this world where you can dance badly and everyone dances with you! :) So I decided to share the joy (don't start crying or anything!).



Where the Heck is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

T-minus two weeks....

So it's 4 in the morning, and I can't sleep. This is wrong on so many levels. Wrong because I fall asleep during the day if I sit on the couch for more than 2 minutes. Wrong because I've already been up twice tonight with my non-inutero children. Wrong because in two weeks (or less?!) I may become a frequent 4am blogger when baby#3 joins us and requests food in the wee smas. Wrong because whatever sleep I get at night or during the day can't be properly enjoyed because I TRY to toss and turn, but my body is too weighed down by this kidlet, so I end up with more of a groan and roll....

I guess I'm just glad I'm not an elephant (literally -- figuratively I'm probably right about there...)
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Gestation_period_of_a_elephant

A Confession and a Question

So, naturally, the day after I posted my heartfelt and sincere Mothers' Day post, my own mettle as a mother was tested. I was enjoying a Sunday snooze (it's the only day I feel justified in napping, so I do it very purposefully. All children are resolutely ignored, whether I'm asleep or not...), Joseph was gone home teaching, and then my three year old struck. No, he didn't strike me (though that has woken me from a Sunday nap in the past, and not to anyones' benefit!). J-boy found the paint roller (full of white paint and carefully wrapped in a plastic bag because I'm too lazy to wash it out between coats) in the baby's room. This room has been off limits for over a week - I'm painting a bookshelf and changing table in there. So, of course, while my defenses were down, he painted the floor, the vacuum, the changing table (this might sound helpful, but it wasn't), his Sunday pants, and himself. I woke up (probably at the beginning of the fiasco), was suspicious of the silence, and sent K up to check on him. So she joined in the fun! Then she came downstairs, told me J-boy was taking a nap and I shouldn't go up there till he was awake. Oh, the treachery!

It's taken me nearly a whole week to look on the situation with any humor... I had an errant thought in the back of my mind (as I was dragging/flinging my son up the stairs by one arm) that my mother-in-law would take pictures to laugh about later. I guess the camera just wasn't handy enough for me. I don't know if I've ever been that furious! I was on the brink of self control. Joseph came home in the middle of the inevitable tirade (you know, the episode where I lecture/yell at the kids for 15 minutes -- they stand in stunned silence and I 'clean up' with such a vengeance it borders on violence). He was locked out, but upon hearing my voice was too afraid to call for help, so he picked the lock and rescued the children with a time out!

I considered myself a basically non-violent person. I laughingly tell friends that I hardly even had a temper before I got married. But I seem to be digressing instead of progressing in that aspect of my personality....

So I ask... can I blame this one on the pregnancy??

Chicago!!

Last weekend I did something fun and crazy that I've always wanted to do - a trip all by myself (ie, no children except for the one in utero) for a roommate reunion weekend!! I met up with two of my most favorite people in the world, Rach & Tiff, and we spent a jolly holiday in the Windy City.

Here's the reflection of the city (and the three of us!) in "The Bean" (I'm in the middle taking the picture)

The view from the top of the Ferris Wheel on Navy Pier

Chicago deep dish pizza with my internet/digital scrapping buddy, Alison who just happened to be in Chicago the same weekend - good timing! It was so fun to get to know her in person.

Walking back to the hotel after our wicked night (Joseph told me not to pick up on any guys while I was away, then laughed and said, "Nevermind, you're pregnant!" So our wicked night was just the musical, a lovely dinner and a stroll through downtown Chicago).

The three of us roomed together and/or next door to each other for the first three years of college, and each got married the same spring/summer before our senior year. I just adore them! It was so great to take a break from everything here at home. Thank you, thank you, Joseph, for supporting my little adventure, and many thanks to my in-laws for taking the kids!