Tender Mercies

The past month has been kind of crazy for me.  Joseph had a staff member out of town for 2 weeks, and I am their permanent temp, so I got to go work at the office.  During those two weeks, the kids had their first day of school and I started rehearsals for not one, but THREE big recitals/concerts.  [Between you and I, I'm thinking that that is why I have the complexion of a high schooler.]  :)  The head of the piano department at our little university is on sabbatical, which means that the faculty had no one to accompany their big fundraiser concert, or their get-to-know-the-faculty recital for the students.  And the flute professor does a recital every September - I played for her last year, as well.  She's really fun to play with, but she picks CUHRAZY music.  This Jolivet piece was the beast of the recital -

Mr. Bouriakov takes it at insane break-neck tempos - he does it in 10 minutes; it took us 11.  But you get the idea. :)  CUHRAZY, right??  The big fundraiser concert was the night of K-lady's birthday (she's 10! more on that later), another recital was the night of her birthday party. (I have serious calendaring issues)  So last night was the last of those three big recitals, and I can't even tell you how good it feels to have made it through them all successfully - not perfectly of course, but I feel pretty good about calling them each a success.

Anyway, to the point:  I've been having off-and-on issues with my left wrist.  When I over-practice I end up with some strained muscles in  my fore arm that limit the flexibility in my wrist - I can't bend my wrist forward or back w/o pain.  My fingers can't move as fast; more practice just makes it worse.  Really not a good thing for a pianist.  It's just been within the last 2 years or so - whenever I have a heavy piano load it seems to flare up, and when I take a break usually it will fade away.  But it freaks me out to no end (enter more zits).  My mind fills with visions of the lady I knew back in college with bandages on her slit wrists from carpal tunnel surgery.  FULL BODY SHUDDER.  I had a pretty heavy load the last few weeks!  Full of big left hand arpeggios and fast passages.  I've just been praying and praying that nothing would go terribly wrong, that I could eek out the music without too much damage, or too many mistakes.  I was hoping to make it through the last big recital -- I've got about a month and a half before the next round of performances on my schedule (percussion concertos (nutso) and tuba/euphonium recitals (double nutso)).  But I figured I could try a chiropractor or a specialist in the meantime.  Ugh ugh ugh is how I felt about all of that.

Yesterday morning I had rehearsals, then came home for a few hours before the recital.  I decided to work on cleaning out the mess in our garage for a bit.  I didn't notice it at the time, but whatever was out of place in my wrist somehow snapped itself back into place as I was throwing camping equipment and bee boxes around.  After I'd cleaned myself up for the recital I sat down to warm up at the piano.  No pain, no tenderness.  I laughed out loud as I caught myself babying my wrist out of habit - no longer needed!!!   I can skip that chiropractor or specialist and go straight to percussion concerti and tuba repertoire! :)  (do I cheer or give just one more ugh before I bury myself in the nutso??)

I am so grateful to have my wrist back to normal!  I'm so grateful that I get to play the piano and push my limits and practice hard music and see improvement.  It seems to me that when I gain control over one small part of my life, that sense of order can spread and spill over into other parts.  That is what my piano does for me - it gives me that bit of success and joy that I need to motivate me in so many other bits of life as a wife and mother and cub scout master and whatever else might be on my plate at any moment.  It is empowering.  I thank God for gifts life that!  And I thank Him for making my body capable of both the pain and the healing, so thankful that it happened in such a timely manner yesterday.  And so thankful for the knowledge that the inevitable pain in this life will also be followed by healing if I rely on God.  I know it will not always be so timely, but the healing will always have the final word.